“My Spouse Left Me“

This week, we’ve been talking about single parenthood. Becoming a single parent after the death of a spouse is a tragic ordeal. But divorce is actually the more prevalent cause.

Too often divorce takes place under situations of marital unfaithfulness, abuse, neglect or abandonment. These are difficult situations to navigate Biblically. But sometimes, divorce takes place simply because a husband and wife fall out of love and choose to part ways.

These are the situations that have been the greatest struggle within the church.

And it’s no surprise when the Bible‘s standard for divorce directly collides with our cultural point of view. As a pastor, divorce is always a difficult topic.

My calling is to abide by and promote this Book in its entirety, so people don’t often like the answers I’m compelled to give them.

So how do I approach the topic of divorced single parents with a Biblical view?

I’ll Start With This CAVEAT:

In order to unpack this post, I have to list a few passages of Scripture that can be uncomfortable and perhaps even painful, depending on your life experience.

Please understand that my goal is not to argue the topic of divorce, but to learn how to care for single parents who have experienced divorce (regardless of why they divorced in the first place.)

So I will proceed Biblically, but with sensitivity.

Biblical Divorce (and The Cultural Response)

In today’s culture, there are many reasons why someone would leave their spouse and children. However, throughout the entire Bible, we find strict guidelines on how and when divorce can take place:

• First (1), in the Old Testament. Under the Law, divorce was only permitted when a spouse had committed adultery. And remarriage was not permitted after divorce.

God’s position on divorce is most sternly stated toward men, in Malachi: “‘The man who hates and divorces his wife,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘does violence to the one he should protect…” (Mal. 2:16)

• Second (2), in the Gospels. Religious leaders tried to use laws on divorce to test Jesus in Matthew 5, Matthew 19, Mark 10 and Luke 16.

In all these accounts Jesus confirms the Law, that (1) divorce is a last resort, only permissible under circumstances of marital unfaithfulness, and that (2) remarriage is not permissible after divorce.

• Third (3), in the early church. Paul‘s instruction on divorce, found in 1 Corinthians 7 also confirms Old Testament principle. Moreover, confirms Jesus’ teaching in the Gospels.

Paul writes the following: “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): a wife must not separate from her husband…And a husband must not divorce his wife.” (1 Cor. 7:10-11)

Culture Us Dying To Know Why?

Why? That’s the big question. That’s what our culture is dying to know. Why is the Bible so against divorce? What’s the big deal?

1. Primarily, because it shows the high value that God places on the marriage covenant, which we unpacked in the Newlyweds posts, two weeks ago.
2. But I believe a secondary unstated reason surfaces, directly relating to our topic of single parents. I believe that the Bible’s strict stance on divorce, is also a protection for children.

We need to remember that in Biblical time, there was no birth control. That meant children were almost always a factor in divorce. Just consider how God feels about children:

God’s View Of Children

In the Old Testament, children are considered a blessing and a gift. In Psalm 137 we read, “Children are a heritage from the Lord…a reward from him.”

In the Gospels, Jesus rebukes His disciples when they prevent children from coming to Him. In Matthew 19 Jesus said, “…Let the little children come to me…for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

In John 3:16, even our salvation is based around the sacrifice of God’s Son.

In Scripture, children are highly valued and therefore, should be protected. And this is a Biblical principle that culture can’t disagree with:

1. First, that children should be valued and protected.
2. And second, that avoiding divorce values and protects children.

Cultural Divorce (and The Biblical Response)

When divorce takes place (regardless of why it took place), children should still be valued and protected. In order to do that, serving single parents should be a priority for us as Followers of Jesus.

Let’s simplify that even more: As Christians, our call is to serve all people (regardless of divorce or any other circumstance)!

Even though the Bible seems to strictly prohibits divorce, the Biblical response to those who have experienced divorce, should always be forgiveness and support, for the sake of the child and the adult.

Join The Conversation, Leave Your Thoughts:

What should the Biblical response be to people who have experienced divorce? When there are children involved, should our response change? Why or why not?