UNPACKING SECOND CHANCE MARRIAGES
Remarriage After the Death of a Spouse.
1 Corinthians 7:39 states, “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” (NIV)
In the English Standard Version (ESV), “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” (ESV)
So remarriage would seem to be straightforward, other than the “…but…” in verse 39. A second chance at falling in love is perfectly acceptable, as long as both parties are first, completely in love with Jesus, or as Paul writes:
They “…must belong to the Lord.“
Newlyweds or second chance newlyweds; any and all romantic relationships must first be founded on a devotion to Jesus Christ. Just like the teenager dating for the very first time, a widow or widower must ask the same question:
“Does this person love Jesus more than they love me?“
Because there’s a 50% chance that the second spouse will die before the other, making them widowed again. If their entire dependency and devotion is on each other, then they’ll just be left empty again.
Jesus is the only person who can truly fill us and complete us!
2 Corinthians 6:14-16
“14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.”
Biblical principles surrounding being “…yoked together…” aren’t just for first time newlyweds. The same principles applies to widowed people.
Just because it’s our second wife or second husband, doesn’t give us permission to shack up or hitch up with an unbeliever. Deep relationships (especially romantic ones) have a massive impact on us. Every deep relationship must be centred around Jesus.
Jesus is the bond that doesn’t break! Nothing else will bring two people together or keep them together like Jesus!
Supporting A Second Marriage
So how can a family or a church know whether or not to support a widow or widower’s second relationship?
The risk? Many a con man (or woman) has specifically sought out the widowed, pretending to fall in love with them, just to access their bank accounts.
There are thousands of scam artists out there whose goal is to capitalize on the loss and loneliness of widows and widowers. And if the widowed person is a Christian, can artists have no problem using faith-based conversation to reel them in.
So how can we protect our widowed friends and family, without sounding unsupportive of their second chance at marriage?
Again, it all comes back to Jesus!
Do they love Jesus? Or in expanded form, every widow and widower must ask themselves these 3 questions:
- What evidence of Jesus do I see or hear about from their past marriage?
- What evidence of Jesus do I see or hear about from their widowed life?
- What evidence of Jesus is there right now, in our dating or engaged relationship?
It comes right back to 1 Corinthians 7:39; a widowed person is free to marry anyone, as long as they love Jesus!
Join the Conversation, Leave Your Thoughts
In 1 Corinthians 7:39, a potential spouse “…must belong to the Lord.” Do you think this is easier or harder to find with a second marriage?
