Can staff members be friends?

Once, while I was tucking my son into bed, I decided to pause and spend some time talking with him. He was 3 years old at the time. I started with a typical question, that always provided interesting content.

“What do you want to talk about?”

He replied, “Um, staff meeting.”

“Staff meeting?” I asked. “Who goes to staff meeting?”

“All of your friends!” He replied.

Before I could find out how he reached this conclusion, he had changed topics to how Ironman gets the ‘bad guys’ and the policemen get the ‘crazy guys’. (That’s a story for another day!)

I reflected on my friends.

This morning, I’ve been pondering the fact that he perceives my staff meetings as a meeting of friends. He’s correct that everyone I work with at the church is my friend. We get along pretty well, most of the time, but how did he come to that conclusion?

• Is it how I talk about staff meetings when I come home?
• Is it that I look forward to staff meetings?

There have been occasions when he has visited a staff meeting. I guess from the 3-year-old perspective, it looks like we’re a bunch of friends hanging out together.

Before I became a Pastor.

As I think back to previous careers, perhaps that’s one of the major benefits of working in ministry; something that I’ve failed to notice and appreciate. I used to work in the corporate world. Specifically in a sales office for a major hotel chain. When I think back to those staff meetings, I do not miss them in the slightest!

Those meetings were uncomfortable, to say the least. We were definitely more relationally formed as acquaintances, not friends. In all honesty, many of us acted as though we were enemies.

When I talked about corporate staff meetings at home, I complained more than relaying information about what had actually taken place. In fact, talking about our sales meetings at home probably made me more upset than just attending them.

What if my son had visited those corporate staff meetings? He would have needed earplugs for sure! Typically, there was a lot of profanity and people spoke with and about each other in an aggressive tone. I may have made a lot of money, but it was a terrible environment for relational growth.

Thank you to my staff friends!

In further reflection, I want to write a simple thank you to my co-workers (my friends) at all the churches to which I have had the honour of serving.

• Thank you for making staff meetings a positive experience.
• Thank you for investing in our relationships and not just the work we do.
• Thank you for working with me instead of against me.

Most of all, thank you for positively impacting my sons and always taking the time to listen to them and show them kindness.

Join the Conversation; Share Your Thoughts

• What would your kids think of your staff meeting?
• How do your children perceive the people you work with?