Navigating Difficult Conversations Without Losing Your Cool
The Challenge of Being Slow to Anger
I’ve always struggled with knowing when to share my opinion and when to listen more. Being quick to listen and slow to speak seems easier for some than others. As an extrovert, I have to intentionally hold back my opinions and focus on hearing others first. Being slow to anger, that’s next level self-control!
Regardless of personality, conversations can quickly turn into arguments if we don’t allow space for others to speak. An introvert might shut down, stewing internally. An extrovert might respond by lashing out. Either way, the anger is there. Anger isn’t exclusive to any personality type.
We all stop listening and get angry at some point.
The Wisdom of James on Being Slow to Anger
James gives us a clear directive on this:
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20)
It’s not just about listening more. It’s about resisting the impulse to let anger take over. Too often, frustration hijacks a discussion, derailing it into conflict instead of resolution.
Two People Who Challenge Our Patience
Let’s be honest for a moment. There are always at least two types of people in any group discussion who test our ability to be slow to anger:
- The Aggressive Speaker – They dominate the conversation, pushing their opinions without considering others’ viewpoints. (This has been me in the past.
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The Passive-Aggressive Agree-er – They nod and agree outwardly but do their own thing, ignoring input from others.
Both can be equally frustrating, but anger isn’t the answer.
The Fine Line Between Addressing and Enabling
I’m not saying we should ignore these behaviours or enable them. But as soon as anger takes hold, the problem escalates. Instead, we need to focus on responding with humility and self-control. If a conversation is heading in the wrong direction, we can gently redirect it without reacting in frustration.
Dive Deeper Into Scripture
Take some time to read through James 1 and reflect on recent conversations. Have you been overly opinionated or too quick to dismiss others? Has anger crept in too easily?
- Consider setting goals for how you can improve these discussions.
- Write down practical steps with a timeline.
- Commit to listening more and reacting less.
The next time you face one of these challenging conversations, you might just make it through without frustration taking over.
Join the Conversation; Share Your Thoughts
- What types of people or personalities cause you the most frustration?
- How do you keep from getting angry during conversations with them?
- What’s one practical step you can take to be slower to anger?
