Breaking the Cycle of Hurt

Last week, I explored themes from Max Lucado’s book, “In The Grip Of Grace,” delving into the first few chapters of Romans. What started as a single post has evolved into a three-part series. Today, I present the third and final piece of this interesting and inspiring tale.

Understanding Hurt

During my time serving in Alaska, our Senior Pastor used to quote a phrase that has stuck with me throughout my ministry: “Hurt people, hurt people.” We should reflect on this concept as we care for those who are struggling with sinful behaviour; not to excuse the sin, but aiming to prevent further pain.

This principle aligns seamlessly with Romans chapter 2, verses 5 through 11:

5 But because of your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed. 6 He will render to each one according to his works: 7 to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life; 8 but for those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, there will be wrath and fury. 9 There will be tribulation and distress for every human being who does evil, the Jew first and also the Greek, 10 but glory and honor and peace for everyone who does good, the Jew first and also the Greek. 11 For God shows no partiality.

Romans 2:5-11 (ESV)

Notice that in verse 5, Paul states that “because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself.” Now connect that with verse 9, where he warns, “There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil.”

We should consider Paul’s words before we start pointing fingers at the sins of others. That kind of behaviour won’t help them, and in it, we might be condemning ourselves.

Lucado’s Parable

Returning to Lucado’s parable, the brother on the hill symbolically portrays our tendency to climb the hill of pride, while concealing our own sin and shame. We find ourselves isolated and hurting, resorting to finger-pointing as we’ve lost our way down. It may feel better in the short term, but in the end, it shows that we’re broken and all alone.

Two important thoughts emerge from Romans 2:10-11, related to this concept. First, there awaits “glory and honor and peace for everyone who does good.” Second, “God shows no partiality.” We always have the choice to judge or to do good.

By choosing to do good, we invite God’s glory, honor, and peace into our lives. God, impartial in His judgment, forgives and guides us down from our self-made hilltops, leading us back to His castle.

Application Challenge

Consider this challenge. Is there someone you’ve been judging? Have you been like the brother on the hill, standing over them and pointing at their struggle? Have you neglected your own struggles, turning a blind eye to the sinful hurt inside your heart?

It’s time to let Jesus (the older brother) take your hand and guide you down from the hilltop. It’s time to return to the Father, seek forgiveness, and put an end to the cycle of hurt. Let’s choose a path of healing, leaving judgment behind.

It’s time to break free from the exhaustion and loneliness of constant vigilance over others’ mistakes. Embrace Christ’s guidance and find restoration.