How Should We Discuss Love, Marriage, and Submission In a Post-Christian Culture?
“Submission isn’t still a thing, is it?“
A wife’s submission to her husband is a touchy subject these days. Even in the Church! Living in this moment, in a post-Christian Western culture, it’s hard to hear words like those found in 1 Peter 3:
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” (1 Pet. 3:1-2)
I am not a woman. But as I reflect on what it must be like for a woman to read this, it must feel so abstract. When compared to everyday life in our society, it just doesn’t fit. This passage could be extremely tough for a new female Believer. When she reads it for the first, how does she process what is being asked of her?
And it doesn’t get easier.
Peter continues his instruction:
“You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” (1 Pet. 3:7)
Our western culture has tried desperately to strip away gender roles in every part of life. In our world today, the concept of God creating women as the “weaker” partner might even be considered harassment on some level. And yet it appears right here, in Scripture.
What do we do with that? How do we teach this Biblical principle in a post-Christian culture? How do we handle those who would see it as chauvinistic or even abusive? How do we walk this line in our day-to-day conversations about love and marriage?
Full disclosure, I’m still processing it, navigating it very carefully, trying to seek wisdom wherever and whenever possible. If you have some insight, please…
Join the Conversation, Share Your Thoughts:
- How would you explain 1 Peter 3 to a new Believer?
- What if that new Believer was a woman? Would your explanation change?
Do you think the struggle with this passage, besides we don’t take the whole context into account , is that we are applying 21st century definitions to tenuously translated english words that perhaps didn’t mean the same today as they did in 1395 ?….
Thanks for your comment Dave. You might have a point. What verses / examples are you talking about specifically?
Jeremy
There’s a lot to unpack no denying it. I think context is key, and you skipped a big piece of the context in starting with the submission verses. Move it back and look at how many more words are used by Paul to describe the husband’s duty. I like to point out that you can only understand the submission of a wife to her husband in light of the husband’s call to love his wife with a sacrificial love that overrides all personal consideration. When we really look at the immense challenge the husband is called to and even if a husband might only attain to it in part, when I ask a woman concerned about submission, ” if your husband was loving you like Jesus loved the church, wrapping his whole lifes purpose up in seeing her taken care of for eternity, laying down his own rights, his own freedoms, his own power for her sake, would you have any problem or reservation about submitting to such a man?” The answer is no. No woman would concern herself with submission if her man was Christ-like.
But the conversation can’t end there. Because the truth is most men are nowhere near Christ-like. But I would argue the problem with submission starts with the husband. Set your goal as christlikeness, and to the degree you succeed, expect submission in like kind. To a wife or bride to be I’d say, expect Christlikeness. Demand a man who is dedicated to the Lord and conforming himself to Jesus. Or at least trying. And if your man isn’t interested in loving you like Christ loves the church, of course you wouldn’t submit to such a man! But that also means you would be crazy to marry such a man. So don’t. I think if a woman has that big a problem with submission is her heart telling her she doesn’t really trust the man in question. Of course it goes without saying all this must be very carefully communicated.
I think you’re on point Oliver! I have heard it said, “Show me a man who loves his wife like Christ loves the church, and I’ll show you a wife who embraces submission.”