Our Fourth Advent

If I told you that “I love you” would you believe me?

Depending on the relationship we have, you may or may not. And yet, maybe it’s not a shocker to you that I said it? Why? Because in our culture we use those three words so frequently and flippantly that perhaps, we’ve lost the full meaning?

Think about it; who’s the last person you said, “I love you” to? Was it in a text or direct message? Or maybe a quick comment under a selfie of a friend? Was it said to a loved one as you walked out the door?

Did you mean it? I mean, did you, at that moment, really mean it? And if so, how could you prove it? How have your actions displayed your love for that person?

True love

What does true love look like? True love, that can last decades, is often built on a foundation of faithfulness and sacrifice.

As we enter our 4th week of Advent, we focus on love. The kind of love that a man named Joseph had for his bride-to-be, Mary. However, he then received some news that put his love for her to the test! Would he be faithful? What would he have to sacrifice?

How will Joseph display his true love for Mary? How will this account point us to God’s true love for the world?

#1 True Love Is Faithful

“18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19 And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.”

Matthew 1:18-19

Let’s pause on this word “betrothed” for a moment. The text says that this was “…before they came together…” If you’re new to Christianity and Biblical language, this basically means, “before they had sex”.

In First Century Jewish culture the betrothal practice was filled with layers of love, based on commitment and faithfulness; to God, to family, and for the couple, to each other. In all ways, they were married, laying the foundational building blocks, but without the physical consummation of the marriage.

One may look at this and comment that this practice is archaic and old fashioned. However, in the New Testament, Christian marriage is not too far off; at least from the physical perspective.

Culture Vs. Bible

In a New Testament Biblical worldview, love is first a spiritual commitment to God. Then second, a mental and relational commitment to each other. From this foundation, the pouring out of blessing in emotional and physical pleasure. A pleasure that can last for decades in sync as true love!

Now consider our culture. Culture has reversed this design! We’ve been deceived into constantly chasing emotional and physical pleasure as primary. Then deceived once again, thinking that if we experience enough pleasure with that person, it will bring us mental and relational fulfilment, and maybe even spiritual connection?

It’s backward to God’s design for love and marriage!

Back to Joseph and Mary

Coming back to our text, we see that both of them must have had a strong faith in God. Just look at how this turn of events unfolded.

First, Mary chose to be faithful to God’s plan. She didn’t hide it or withhold the information until she was showing, and Joseph or other family members asked. She didn’t wait until an angel appeared to Joseph (which it would).

Her character is displayed in her response to the angel, in Luke’s Gospel account:

“And Mary said, ‘Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.’”

Luke 1:38

Second, Joseph’s character speaks to his faith. He clearly was a man of God, attempting to be humble and gracious in a devastating turn of events for their relationship. He must have truly loved God, and been in love with Mary!

The text says that he was “a just man and unwilling to put her to shame”. Although based in his culture and tradition, and even under God’s Law, he would have been justified to take alternative measures and choose a different outcome for Mary, he didn’t!

Joseph must have really loved Mary! He heads to bed that night; his mind full of anxiety and heartache!

“20 But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: 23 “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us).”

Matthew 1:20-23

God’s Love Displayed Through His Faithfulness

Joseph was tested and was about to walk down a road, that was the best possible for Mary in that moment, with the knowledge he had at that time.

Of course, God had a plan all along. God would display His faithfulness to them both.

First, as Joseph fell asleep that night “considering” the whole situation, it weighed heavy on his mind. Then an angel, perhaps the same angel that appeared to Mary, appeared to him in a dream, validating what Mary had been told. God’s faithfulness displayed to Joseph!

Second, for Mary, the brave and faithful young woman, God came through to validate her and His call on her life. God’s faithfulness displayed to Mary!

Third, for us, to the entire world! The angel speaking of the Messiah who will remove our sin. God’s prophetic promises in Old Testament Scripture were about to be fulfilled!

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.”

Isaiah 7:14

#2 True Love Is Sacrificial

“24 When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, 25 but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.”

Matthew 1:24-25

First, we see that Joseph does take Mary as his wife. He would raise the Son of God! Let that sink in for a moment. What kind of sacrifices would one have to take to be an imperfect father, raising a perfect son? Surely Joseph pondered all of this!

Second, it might not fit with your typical Advent tradition, but we’re going to mention sex again! We can’t ignore that sex (or lack thereof) comes up in the text, that “he knew her not”.

Again, if you’re new to Christianity, this might not make sense; “he knew her not”? This means that even though Joseph and Mary were legally married, and completely within their rights and freedoms as a couple in that tradition and culture to have sex.

They were a young couple, completely in love and likely had a strong physical attraction for each other, but they sacrificed sexual intimacy until the birth of Jesus.

Why? To completed secure the prophecy that in fact, Mary was a virgin when she gave birth to Jesus. There could be no false claims in the years to come.

The miracle of the virgin birth!

Third, soon after, Herod would make a decree to kill every boy under two, in the hopes of murdering the Child-King.

Joseph and Mary would be asked to sacrifice their home, family, trade, and culture to protect Jesus. They would travel down to Egypt, a foreign land until God advised them it was safe to return.

Lastly, their Son would be sacrificed for the sins of the world! Although scholars believe Joseph had already passed away by this time, Mary would have to witness it all.

Her precious son; she would watch as he performed miracles and gained thousands of followers. Then she would watch as He was rejected by them all, brought before the authorities, whipped, beaten, then crucified.

God’s Love Displayed In Christ’s Sacrifice

This is the ultimate fulfillment of true love. The faithfulness of God, to send His one and only Son, Jesus to be sacrificed for us. The perfect exchanged for the imperfect; true love displayed on a cross for the world and eternity to witness.

The gift of love that first appeared in a manger, would culminate with a cross and an empty tomb.

• Do you want to find true love?
• Do you want your relationships to be based on true love?
• Do you want full comprehension of true love?

If you want that love that is both faithful and sacrificial, place Jesus and His Gospel at the centre of everything.

This Christmas, we have two questions to ask ourselves related to love:

• Will I accept God’s love through Jesus?
• If I have accepted it, will I live it?

By accepting God’s ultimate Gift of love through Jesus, we have the gift of forgiveness and redemption, our sin removed and brought into right relationship with God. Our penalty of sin erased, and His righteous judgement on sin appeased; even though we deserve none of it.

This is true love! This is God saying, “I love You” and proving that He means it!

Join the Conversation; Share Your Thoughts

• How would loved ones react if you switched out “I love you” for “I’ll be faithful to you” or “I’ll sacrifice for you”?
• Consider the faithful and sacrificial love of Jesus. How could you and your household love like Him this Christmas?