The perfect picture.

We’ve all seen it and most of us do it. That Instagram shot of the perfect adventure, the appetizing meal, the lovely couple, the adoring family…the ________________ (photographic perfection that doesn’t really exist, but we wish it did).

No, it’s not wrong to catch a great photo. And it’s not wrong to post it on social. And yet, it might be worth exploring the deeper why. Could this cultural behaviour stem from a temptation to act (or look) like we have it all together? Could it be as simple as wanting someone to notice us?

What’s the deeper why?

Author, Donald Miller struggled with this, unpacked in chapter 8 of his book, “Searching For God Knows What“.

He writes, “…in the end, I had to concede my motives of faith often take a back seat to my broken nature and desire to feel validity in life…I am broken, that I like to write, but basically, subconsciously, I just want people to like me.” (Donald Miller, Pg. 116)

I think Miller’s on to something. For him it’s writing, for us, it might be that perfect pic on social, but maybe we all just want someone to like us? We want to be valued, or better yet, to be validated. We want to know that we matter.

This becomes a struggle of faith.

Consider Miller’s quote again, that “my motives of faith often take a back seat to my…desire to feel validity in life.” It takes faith to accept the life God has given us and rest in it. It takes faith to accept that He loves us, accepts us and that He is enough for us.

Easier said than done though isn’t it? That’s okay. The first few verses of James’ letter to the church can help us understand what’s really going on.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:2-5)

For a moment, let’s look at our desire to be liked through the lens of a trial, like a test of faith.

I know this test well!

It might sound odd, but in my early years of ministry (before Instagram), I used to cover up my lack of faith with Calvinism. I used to defer to God’s sovereignty with a ‘whatever will be, will be‘ type attitude, thinking this would impress people. I attempted to present myself as an ever-faithful Christian who fully relied on God’s providence, and never doubted. It was a sham!

On the inside, I would experience constant waves of doubt. On the outside, I was pretending. I was hiding my insecurities to convince others that I was a picture of the Christian life and spiritual growth. I thought if I could keep everything on the level of God’s sovereignty and the predestinated life, people might like me more, and I’d be more validated, and experience more belonging.

It doesn’t make much sense, does it? And it’s actually really bad theology, but that’s where I was. This became my test of faith. In the end, despite my insecurities and falsified faith, the Lord still used me to positively impact the relational and spiritual well-being of many people.

God was faithful even when I lacked faith. And as I look back on those years, struggling through all that doubt and testing, God used it all to produce perseverance and maturity, as stated in James’ letter. After walking through this testing, I am now able to echo Donald Miller, that I just wanted “people to like me.” And knowing this about myself prevents me from going down that rabbit hole again!

Embracing the test of faith.

Posting pictures on Instagram, writing a book, or embracing a theological position can all be good things. As long as we have the right motives. We need to be aware of that desire for approval, and prevent it from creeping in (because it’s always there). We can embrace it as an ongoing test of faith.

Then we can persevere through those unhealthy and unhelpful thoughts and feelings, moving into a place of deeper belonging. We can make a choice to rest in God’s love, poured out through Jesus, who becomes our source of value and identity. And in Him, we receive a maturity that we might not otherwise have known.