What Steps Should We Take?

Our church recently had a situation involving a man with mental illness.

Needless to say, the circumstances were difficult to navigate. Just like most churches, we want our doors to be open to anyone, regardless of their background, environment or the baggage they carry.

Mental illness or awkward behaviour shouldn’t limit a person’s access into the church.

As the man entered our church, his appearance showed signs that he had fallen on hard times. Obviously, our hearts went out to him and we welcomed him in. He had some strange stories and comments, clearly giving everyone an understanding of his mental state.

Seemingly harmless.

Then the situation got strange, fast.

After the service he became very hands-on. In particular, with some of the women in the congregation who were doing their best to greet him and welcome him. They clearly got more attention than they were comfortable with. Then, he showed similar behaviours with a few of the kids who were playing in the foyer.

None of these actions would have been inappropriate per say, had he been these women father or these children’s grandfather. However, it wasn’t what you would expect from a total stranger on his first visit to your church.

Someone needed to address his behaviour.

We spoke with the man in a serious yet loving tonne. We explained that we were glad he was here and that we wanted him to stay, but he needed to keep his hands to himself. He clearly wasn’t happy with the comments, but seemed to accept them.

Unfortunately, his behaviour didn’t get any better.

In fact, it got a little stranger over the next couple of weeks. Eventually leading to my wife and I getting a visit late one night. The man was on our door step. How? Why? we don’t really know.

Thankfully, nothing happened other than an exchange of odd conversation. However, Nicole was now feeling very uneasy (as any mother would in this situation). “What he comes by and you’re not here? What if the boys are playing outside?“

It was time to make some tough decisions.

We contacted the police for some advice on the situation. It turned out that he has a history of inappropriate behaviour within churches. As the officer spoke, I could see that he knew exactly what we were struggling with.

“I understand that as a church you want to reach out to the community and bring positive change into their lives. But other churches have been down this same road with this guy. You will eventually have to ban him. It’s sad, but there’s not really much else you can do.“

At our Good Friday service, it came to a head.

Before the service began, he singled out a few of our teenage guys. Soon he was making very inappropriate remarks. We knew what needed to happen.

When we asked him to leave he was very angry. Curse words flowed and he even put his fists up and took a swing. Then he headed out the door and down to the bus stop. In a few moments, he was gone.

What would Jesus do?

Was the man demon possessed? Should we have tried to call them out? What else could we have done? Where’s his family and friends? How could have this situation played out differently?

A million other questions have raced through my mind since Friday night.

Unfortunately, I’m at a loss.

As leaders in the church, we have to walk a fine line. We must protect the vulnerable who are in our flock, and yet we must constantly be in search to bring lost sheep into the flock. Add in a risk to our family.

How do we navigate these situations?

As a church family, we embrace a daily pursuit to become more like Jesus? But working with mental illness inside the church adds such a difficult facet into the role of a church leader.

Join the Conversation, Leave Your Thoughts

Have you ever dealt with mental illness within your church or ministry? How did you correct inappropriate behaviours? How did the person respond? How did other people respond?