How a “No Headphones” Rule Can Promote Community
Should there be rules on a youth trip?
When I was a youth pastor, we took an annual youth conference trip. It’s definitely a community-builder for any youth group. On trips like this, I really tried hard to give the students very few rules and limitations.
Once the trip begins, it’s always fascinating to see how quickly the students expect me to act like their parents, but that’s definitely not my goal in this environment. I firmly believe that it’s important for students to have some safe, healthy independence during youth trips.
For the most part, they were free to decide.
I always enjoy seeing their faces when this freedom first sets in. Usually, it’s after they’ve asked a question or permission for something relatively important to them, but fairly insignificant on the grand scale of the trip. It’s at that moment, that their parents typically would have given them a specific directive in a response.
Instead, I prefer to ask them their opinion. Something like the following:
“What do you want to do?”
“What do you think is the best plan?”
“What do you feel is the right decision?”
They soon feel empowered and validated.
Their ability to make decisions on their own was so exciting for the other youth workers and me to witness. This was fundamental to encouraging the students as they move into the young adult world while on a trip of this nature. The pay-off in relational and even spiritual growth is so worth it!
All this considered, there were rules that I did stick to. Here are some of the straightforward ones:
- I prefer groups of three with at least one cell phone between them.
- I prefer that in each group of three, there be at least one guy. (Regardless of the pushback I received for this one, we still live in a world where this is important and has clear advantages once implemented.)
Then there was my headphone rule.
This is the rule that shocked most people, that there were “no headphones” on youth trips. Even during travel. It always seemed strange at first, when the students heard it. They knew that I wasn’t against music, and I’m definitely not against social media. They were confused.
I had to explain to them that every aspect of these trips should be shared. By plugging into headphones, the student is able to totally disconnect from the rest of the group. That’s just not acceptable for this type of trip. There are too many opportunities that can be missed because of that tiny play icon.
No Music or Social Media?
I wasn’t saying no to music or social media; I was just saying it needs to be shared. Listen to music from that same phone, but don’t plug in solo. They decided as a small group what they would listen to. And for social media, I always encouraged students to post, tweet, share or even blog or vlog throughout their trip experiences.
There are incredible benefits to social media, for family and friends back home. It can be a powerful thing when a church family can walk through this amazing adventure with the students. Furthermore, it can also provide time for personal and group reflection, as experiences are recorded and distributed amongst peers and the general public.
Join the Conversation; Share Your Thoughts
- Did you ever lead or attend a youth trip?
- What kind of rules did you have?
- What are your thoughts on the “no headphones” rule?
Sounds like you’ve got the right idea Jeremy!
Even in a house as small as ours is, when each member of the family is “plugged in” to their preferred form of media we’re each in our own little worlds, and it decreases important family interaction!
I hope that each one of you on the trip experiences the greatness of God and His awesome plan!
Sounds like you’ve got the right idea Jeremy!
Even in a house as small as ours is, if each member of the family is “plugged in” to their preferred form of media, we miss out on important family interaction!
I hope that each one of you on this trip experiences the greatness of God and His awesome plan for us all!!!
Thanks for your comment Francie! For me, it might be a take one to know one kind of deal. I enjoy the technology world and can get lost in my media if I ‘plug-in’. So, hopefully I am leading well by example on this trip!
I like the no headphones rule. i hate when I’m speaking with someone and they are plugged in and i can’t tell if they’re really there with me or not. I am all for that rule so they stay a part of the group. and they share the whole experience as a group.
Thanks for your comment Michelle. I appreciate your support in reading, but also validating my decision as a Youth Pastor. You rock lady!
I like it but don’t. The whole no headphones thing. Cause I love movies and music, even on a trip like that, I would have probably put some on my iPad for the plane ride and, well I just don’t know. Some people need some alone time to. To just relax and take some time to yourself. And sometime music is good for that.
So I think over all I agree with people needing to spend time with the whole group thing. But I guess I don’t agree with the no headphones rule.
For this trip, we want the students to interact, even if they’re watching/listening to media – sharing the music or movie if you will. As for alone time, the students are encouraged to take some time each day with their Bible and journal (or mobile device notes, blog, Facebook notes, etc.) interacting with God on a personal basis. Regardless, thanks for your input and thanks for your support!
Totally agree… Headphones or “being plugged in” hinders the bonding and takes away from the unity. You miss the funny jokes, and if its an option your not forced to actually have human contact. It’s like the 2011 version of crossing your arms. It make you someone unapproachable. Just my two cents. Mind you I am typing this while plugged in to my phone instead of socializing with my family… Hmmm.
A couple great notes Lisa! First, the concept that being ‘plugged-in’ is like the modern version of crossing one’s arms is a great perspective. When someone is locked into their media, it feels rude to interrupt them. Therefore, the world goes on around them and they unfortunately do miss jokes, discussion and other pertinent and/or valuable conversation. My second response would be in regards to being ‘plugged-in’ when you could be interacting with your family. Alas, I have experienced the same conviction. Obviously headphones aren’t evil in any way, but they are always a temptation to lock out of the world in times where we probably shouldn’t. Thanks so much for posting and for your support!